100 Women 2016: I am a 'surrendered wife'

Californian Kathy Murray says she saved her marriage by giving up trying to control her husband. Despite considering herself a feminist, she follows - and now teaches others - the approach of a controversial book called The Surrendered Wife, which tells women to stop nagging their partners and start treating them with more respect. The first time I married I was divorced by 26. I married for the second time at 32 but soon found myself sleeping in the guest room. My husband and I fought all the time.  Much of our fighting stemmed from the fact I thought my husband was clueless when it came to raising the children (we had four children between us aged from four to nine years old). We also quarrelled about how to manage our finances, and how often we made love.I was working full-time as chief finance officer for a private school and also volunteered at my kids school and in my community. My husband was a sales rep for a construction company but I was the breadwinner and acted like I was in charge.I didnt tell anyone I was in constant conflict with my husband. I was embarrassed, angry and resentful.